I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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