Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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