i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
