im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
