Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
