Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
