For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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