i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
