just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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