I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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