I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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