is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
