Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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