And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
