it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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