No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
