tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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