no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
