Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
