Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch