is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
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I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.