Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.