That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
