I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
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According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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