Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
