So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
