Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
