Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
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Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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