Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
