There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
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