Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You're a waste of cheezeits
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
