Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
