i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
