dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think