2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"