Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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