I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
