Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
