It's Friday. Sex?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm always down for nudity.
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