Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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