I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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