Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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