OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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