Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
