you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
