i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
