You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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