ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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