Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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