hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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