woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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