4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
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