I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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