Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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