All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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