fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
