in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
