You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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