we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
